What do you think of when you hear the word balance? Do you think of scales? Someone doing a physical activity like yoga? How many of you think of your personality?

As I developed the Needs Languages I learned a lot about balance and how vital it is. I put it between the words silent and silencing. Those words end up being the extreme of relationships where being quiet is happening. Balance is observing what is going on.

For example. I am Important in the Needs Languages. My stepdad is not. One aspect of an Important person’s personality is that they have to be seen and heard, for my stepdad this is annoying because his Needs Languages say to have attention drawn to him means being out of control. Control is one of his Needs Language.

Finding balance means talking about it acknowledging what I need and what he needs in the situation. I tone it down a little and he accepts that what I need. If it gets a little much, we talk privately.

When we had this conversation, it was powerful and healing. The understanding that came made our lives easier. I love and respect my stepdad. He is my dad. I believe this also showed him respect because I wanted and was willing to honor his Needs Languages without losing what I needed.

This is what balance can look like honor and respect for yourself and the other person you are in the community with.